DFI and Manners–Yes I do both

dfi_icon_shock.jpgOK,

it seems I’d written a document for candidates about manners and

such… I guess I’d been to a series of parties and seen some appalling behaviour.

Having

recently attended a series of fundraisers and Holiday events, I feel

compelled to make a few comments. I’m beginning to get the sense that

wolves raised many of you.

This is a “progressive” post; if you

can’t successfully apply yourself to the first one, don’t bother to

move on to the next step.

Party Guest: Let’s start by focusing on those 2 words.
“Party”

as in having a good time, an opportunity to meet new people, an

opportunity to wear a pretty blouse or dress, an opportunity to bring a

friend along to introduce to a group or community.
“Guest” as in

accepting some responsibility for your behavior. Arriving on time,

greeting the host or hostess, RSVP if asked, making polite

conversation, be prepared to introduce yourself to some one you don’t

know, offer to help the host if it looks like they need it. Stay in the

designated party space, thank the host and leave on time.
If this is

a “Fundraiser” you are by default obligated to contribute something.

This can be money or if possible, it can be your time or talent. This

also assumes that some money needs to be left over at the end of

evening; it can’t all be spent entertaining you.

Things you are

NOT allowed to do as a Party Guest: Arrive well after the party has

“peaked”, use any personal belongings of the host, whip out a book from

the book shelf and plunk yourself down in a chair in the middle of the

party and start reading it, place glassware on furniture without a

coaster or napkin, leave your food plate behind for some one else to

pick up, get drunk and obnoxious, assume anyone wants to chase, hold or

baby-sit your uninvited children, look like you don’t want to be there.

If you are not having fun, go home, we won’t miss you.

Host and Host Committees:

Again, I stress, if you haven’t mastered Party Guest, don’t attempt

this. The only exemption is if you hire a party planner and contract

out the whole event. If this is the case, you probably have too much

money, and we don’t know you.
Planning: The who, what, where, and

when. Each of these deserves it’s own committee and attention. They

work as a symbiotic relationship, some time the “who” determines the

“where”, sometimes the “when” determines the “who”. Do not try to plan

any important event “on the fly”, unless you are very good and very

organized something will turn tragic, assume these events will not be

successful. Successful events are always planned months in advance.

Have enough seating for at least ¾ of your guests, especially if many

are over the age of 50. Young folks can stand for 2-3 hours; the rest

cannot be expected to do this.

Host and Host; you too have

responsibilities, foremost is greeting your guests and making them feel

welcome. Do not stand in clumps and only speak to those you know, make

an effort to introduce yourself, and offer to introduce people who

don’t look comfortable.

Candidates:

You are by far the “ultimate” party guest and host/hostess. All above

rules apply to you at all times. You are obligated to be polite make

introductions, arrive on time (or arrange before hand with the host to

be ” a little” late) Brief your surrogates, have business cards, wear

your name badge, shine your shoes, do not bring husbands or wives who

don’t want to be there, always RSVP even if the invite doesn’t require

it, how else will the organizers know to recognize you? Also, what if

your opponent is going to be there, it makes it very awkward for

everyone. Don’t pass anything out unless you have cleared it with the

host first, unless it’s a business card.

If

there is an “entry fee” you must pay it, just because you are a

candidate you are not exempt, unless you are someones guest. I have to

tell you, some of you candidates are getting a bad reputation for not

paying, we don’t care that your just stopping by, you brought your

Mother and husband, and they are eating and drinking. If your campaign

is strapped, ask if it’s ok to contribute later or pay a reduced rate.

DON’T expect to just show up and not pay, remember you are a Party

Guest first, then a candidate, not the other way around.


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