Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.. how you amuse us all with your mixture of mythology and psychotic babbling. Just last week it was all at the same time.
Yippee!
By now I’m sure you’ve all heard about Sarah’s snafu with history on her bus tour in Boston. Well lets just say, in all fairness, what most folks learned from Longfellow, isn’t the real story either.
Sarah’s “history”:
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“uh, we were gonna be secure and…and we were gonna be free…and we were gonna be armed.”
She goes on, mind numblingly about Revere riding through town ringing bells and shooting up the place to warn the population that our 2nd amendment rights were being jeopardized – WRONG-in so many ways.
Longfellow’s “history”: Revere rode through town watching for lantern signals in the old north church, and warned the British were coming. Partial Credit, except that duh, in 1775 we were all still technically “British”. But yes, Revere along with Dawes, Prescott, and other alarm riders did warn folks that the “regulars” were coming over the course of two days and nights, April 18-19, 1775.
Actual history: Like the movie Forrest Gump, we all know that Tom Hanks never shook hands with President Kennedy, neither did Revere singlehandedly warn all of New England. Instead a man named I. Bissell did. I know, you never heard of him. But the folks at the Berkshire County historical society have.
All along, I kept thinking that the only answer for her, was to simply reply to the reporters in that dumb vapid voice, “well ya know that’s the whole point of this here, ya know, bus tour, is, yah know, to learn more about our history, go on vacay and get my donors to pay for it, dont’cha know there, hey “. Honestly Sarah they would have lined up to help you learn 4th grade American history… but , nooooo, you are too big an idiot to even say that. Le sigh.
But wait there is more.
The best part, the cherry on the cake of this whole twisted saga is that the Palinistas are so desperate to prove that she’s not dumb as a bag of hair, they have besieged the internets with more lies and half truths to defend her. Changing WikiPedia to even support it, say it isn’t so. But. It. Is. Unfreaking believable.
To paraphrase Dean Wormer “Willfully ignorant is no way to go through life Sarah”.
I. Bissell’s Ride
by Clay PerryListen, my children, to my epistle
Of the long, long ride of Israel Bissell,
Who outrode Paul by miles and time
But didn’t rate a poet’s rhyme.
A postman was this Israel Bissell.
Who on his horse, sped like a missile
On April nineteenth, seventy-five,
And few there are who are now alive
Who’ve read of that ride with the “Call to Arms”
Which summoned men with war’s alarms.
At Watertown where the Call was writ
And Bay State Congress then did sit.
He started out at ten o’clock
With words that all the world would rock;
He galloped on from town to town
His steed, exhausted, fell to the ground.
New Haven, first, where Arnold’s force
Of Yale militia took to horse,
And sped to Cambridge for the fight
Against the British, day and night.
Next to the farm where Putnam plowed
To whom he read the Call, aloud;
“To arms, to arms!” to all he cried
A second horse fell down and died.
And still he rode; another steed
Was saddled swiftly for his need.
Four days and nights he sped along,
And eight hours more, still going strong,
Until at Philly’s City Hall
He came and handed in the Call.
Now Continental Congress knew
The war was on, and those words flew
Afar and wide, the Colonies o’er
And warned the Redcoats from our shore,
The Call was relayed here and there.
Its winged words flew through the air
Were heard in Wall Street at New York,
And mustered many for the work.
When the war ended, Bissell came
To Berkshire where he made his claim
To land in Hinsdale, on a hill
And lived and labored there until
Death came, and on another hill
His grave is kept most tenderly
Because his ride helped make us free.
But on the simple marble stone
His name and dates are carved, alone;
No record of his daring ride,
But only that he lived and died
So here’s a tribute, poor and plain,
To him who dashed through April rain
And roused more Minute Men to arms
From town and city, shop and farm,
Than any other man alive.
In the year seventeen-seventy-five,
Two hundred twenty years ago
He outrode Paul and Will Dawes too.
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