Election Eve Snark

The results may not be in, but that doesn’t mean it’s not bedtime.  So here’s where we’re at:

US Senate (D): Michelle Nunn won.  But I still lost, because I said she’d take over 80% of the vote.  She seems to be hovering only around 75%.  Rude.  However Dr. Rad’s incredible showing just goes to prove that when you’re running for statewide office, it pays to go to county party meetings, troll Facebook, and complain relentlessly.  Because that, my friends, is how you get 3.5% of the vote.

US Senate (The Bad Guys): Not shockingly, it’s a three way race, between “Successful Businessman” David Perdue (no, not the chicken guy), Jack “Comic Sans” Kingston, and Karen “Why Am I Still Relevant?” Handel.  It looks like Handel won’t make the runoff, but I’m withholding calling this one because Fulton is still outstanding, and she performs better there.

School Super (D): Almost assuredly, this race will be between Valarie Wilson and Alisha Thomas Morgan, with Valarie in the lead handily.  Hopefully, the other candidates will rally behind Valarie, given that most of them ran because they actually value public schools.

CD-01 (D): This might be the first time I’ve seen a three way race where the candidates almost literally split the vote in thirds.

CD-04 (D): Hank’s held the lead the whole night.  I’d think he’ll pull this out.

SD-36 (D): Nan is stomping her opponent into the ground.  Good riddance to annoying people.

SD-42 (D): I honestly thought this race would be closer.  Congrats to Elena Parent, and good job to Kyle Williams.  We all knew it would get ugly, don’t lie.

HD-22 (R): Sam Moore might not even make the runoff.  Must be lonely in Stupidville.

HD-34 (R): The other resident of Stupidville, Charles Gregory, is losing to Ernie’s “roommate” (or so that robocall would have you believe).  Let’s keep it that way.

There are a few races that I can’t even predict, because I can’t tell if turnout is low or if counties take forever to report.  Either one is possible.  But based on current results, David Wilkerson is winning (YES!), Simone Bell is winning (TAKE THAT, RALPH!), Valencia Stovall is winning (CRAP!), and Tim Hur is losing (NO!).

We’ll have some real analysis when the real results are in.